u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
