Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got inside last night via doggy door
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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