Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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