Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
