I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Im part way to drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
