I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just invented taco cereal.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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