Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
3 2 1 whiskey
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
