I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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