She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
