Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize