I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
