She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
