When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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