I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
