We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
