I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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