Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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