I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
