So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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