We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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