You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Will you blow on my dice?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
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Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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