Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
