respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize