Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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