He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
