to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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