hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
