you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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