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How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
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