Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?

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(312): How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick? http://tfl.nu/oq47

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(917): View more from New York City

what time did you get home last night?

(1-917): View more from New York City

SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

(1-917): View more from New York City

He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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(917): what time did you get home last night? (1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time (1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott http://tfl.nu/lqla

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(614): View more from Ohio

Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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(614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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(270): Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high. http://tfl.nu/tn40

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(631): View more from New York

stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.

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(631): stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back. http://tfl.nu/3ip5

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(804): View more from Virginia

quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick

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(804): quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick http://tfl.nu/5pdl

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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(412): I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point. http://tfl.nu/b3t9

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(407): View more from Florida

Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.

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(407): Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/dysf

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....

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(508): He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well.... http://tfl.nu/3a9p

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(914): View more from New York

Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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(914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q

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(314): View more from Missouri

The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

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(314): The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons. http://tfl.nu/mw2s

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(214): View more from Texas

How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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(214): How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk. http://tfl.nu/tw8m

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic

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(414): Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic http://tfl.nu/n8i2

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(512): View more from Texas

We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.

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(512): We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings. http://tfl.nu/68bg

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(510): View more from California

This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.

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(510): This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him. http://tfl.nu/bezf

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