She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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