I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
