At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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