so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
