question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
