she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
