I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
