I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
