My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
