I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The best revenge is premature balding
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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