come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
third nipple confirmed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
