she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
