Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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