No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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