do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
