I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
