Cold hands, warm shart.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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