at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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