How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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