I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
