you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
