What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ketchup is God's man juice
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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