He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
