when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
