dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.