found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
