I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
