What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It all started with a game of naked twister.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
