ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize