I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
