I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
