I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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