Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize