Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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