what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
