Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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