Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize