I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize