what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He better not be in your backpack
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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