dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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